I value sleep when travelling and despise anyone or anything that interrupts it. One culprit specializes in roosting people from their dreams.
Finding a peaceful hotel takes effort since peace equals lots of sleep. I walk around until I stumble on a suitable guesthouse. Often, a noise heathen lies in wait, invisible, just waiting to strike. Yes, I’ll see various animals and birds around, but most are harmless, except one!
After falling asleep and drifting into dreamland. I see beautiful mountains, and a cute girl walks toward me, smiling. She opens her mouth and in a sexy voice says, “You’re hot.” She walks closer, throwing off her robe. Cock a doodle do. I awaken. This relentless adversary walked over and positioned himself outside my open window. Time to party with his friends. They never shut up.
I lie there considering a way to silence these rude males. Yes, it’s always a male. The intelligent females get chased by these louts and refrain from such disturbances.
He calls again. Some call this sound a song, others a crow, I go with crow.
Over and over, I lie in desperation. He crows every five seconds, even trying to call his friends in the next country.
More come and more noise and sleep eludes me.
They say they sing for sunrise, but at 3 A.M, sunrise evades these annoying creatures. Four A.M., five A.M., still no sunrise, still no silence. Shut up already. Go to sleep. How would you like it if I crowed all night? Or whenever you sleep.
I’m tempted to chase them away. I know they’re chicken and will run. Yes, chicken, in every way. Thoughts of curry chicken, sweet and sour chicken, fried chicken, chicken tacos and chicken kebobs all featuring my friends flash through my head.
They continue to roost me as I toss and turn in frustration. Even as dawn approaches, the sun is rising, so shut up. But no, this is not good enough. It seems they flunked rooster school and don’t understand the proper etiquette.
Later, I wandered into a chicken restaurant for dinner. My saliva’s flowing as I expect a delectable meal of chicken kebabs. With luck, one of my friends will play the leading role in the feast..
I soon returned to my hotel. No roosters. I smile. Should I drink a beer to celebrate, perhaps a dark one, my favourite?
It’s late now. I retire to my bed and enter another world of strange dreams. Without warning, I awake. Cock a doodle do. I look outside. Three of them sit out there, right under my open window. Aren’t they supposed to fight? Looks more like a love fest at 1 am. Six hours to sunset. Who educated these confused males?
I finally came out with a solution – eat their eggs. But wait, devour thousands of eggs! Not possible. Tie their beaks. No, cruel. Introduce them to cock fighting. Inhumane. Put on earplugs. This works. I sleep well with many peaceful and vivid dreams of a cock free world.